The Mimi Fairy

Last night was a big night in our house.  It was the last night Audrey went to bed with her Mimi.  The last time she will have her beloved pacifier.  If I sound a little dramatic about it that's because it's kind if a big deal.  Audrey has been VERY attached to her Mimi for the past three years.  It has comforted her, helped her fall asleep at naps and bedtime, and been like and extra appendage at times.  About a year ago we made a rule where she had to keep it in her room, and while she did pretty good with that it was at times hard to enforce and a constant battle.  She had a Mimi at Ghee and Papa's and one at Ms. Ericka's for naptime at their houses.  She had green ones and pink ones, but the green were her favorite.  We have been wanting to get rid of it for awhile but didn't want to deal with a big traumatic heartbreak for our girl.   There were moments when we thought she was ready when she'd say "I don't need my Mimi anymore" and would hand it over, only to cry for it an hour later.
Finally we decided that the Mimi Fairy was the way to go.  It was time!  She seemed ready but definitely needed us to give her an out.  To give her a way to let go of her Mimi that had a happy ending.  Something that left her with a peace about it.
Her friend Emma had a visit from the paci fairy and had talked to her about it.  So I asked her "Audrey, when do you think the Mimi fairy will come visit you?"  She said "next tuesday!".   Yes, yes she will.
I decided that was it.  Tuesday.  It was happening.  I would have preferred a weekend or something, but she said tuesday, and I wanted to allow her to have some control over this major change in her life.
We chatted about it once in a while over the next week leading up to tuesday night.  I told her Mimi Fairy was coming and that she'd take the Mimi's and would probably leave her a big girl present.  Audrey told people about the Mimi Fairy coming and was excited about it!  She told her Ghee "I don't need my Mimi Ghee, I am a big girl now!"
Tuesday night came.  Audrey had been having a tough time getting to sleep since the time change.  She would lay in bed and just couldn't get to sleep.  "My body just isn't sleepy Mommy", she would say.  Tuesday night was the same.   She finally fell asleep around 10:45 (geez!!!) I kept waiting for the middle of the night when she would wake up, not have her Mimi and panic!  It didn't happen.  In the morning, she woke up crying, I went to her room thinking she was going to cry for her mimi, but instead she said "Mommy, I can't sleep anymore".  I told her it was 6:00 and she could get up, it was morning.  When I turned on the light she said "The Mimi Fairy didn't come!"  I said, "Let's look around your room, I bet she left you something!".  Her big girl gift and a special card from the Mimi Fairy was on her dresser waiting for her.  I brought it over to her and she was immediately thrilled!!!!!  The Mimi Fairy brought her a bead kit to make bead necklaces and bracelets!  She also left her a card with a picture of the Fairy herself all covered in glitter.  The note thanked Audrey for the Mimi's.
Audrey insisted we make a necklace right then!  Mommy did not get a shower this morning, because we were making big girl necklaces!  But it was worth it.

She was great at Ms. Ericka's house at naptime and went to sleep without it!!!
Bedtime was a little different.  She didn't ask for it until it was time for tucking in, lights out and kisses goodnight.  She made the most pitiful face and cried the most genuine heartbroken tears.  My heart was in total anguish for her.  I gave her her blankie from when she was a baby, which was in the closet because she never used it or slept with it anymore.  She clung to it like a safety net and after me laying in her bed with her, singing to her and reminding her that I was there and it was all ok.....she fell asleep with the corner of her blankie in her mouth.  Heart wrenching! I told her how proud I was of her over and over and she slept well without the Mimi.....after the initial shock that she was going to bed for the night without it.  When she was crying she wasn't begging for it, she was mourning it.  I didn't have to tell her no she couldn't have it, she knew.  She was just heartbroken.  So so so sad.

But, I remind myself that this is good.  She is growing up.  It was time.  But it is still so sad for my Mama heart.